One of the friends I had in high school was the kind of person who loves being at the centre of everything. She was in the music, drama, journalism, and rangers clubs, was actively involved in church, science congress and games, and never missed out on a school trip whether she was involved or not. She was the life of all parties, and was everybody’s sweetheart, from the grounds men to the cooks, teachers and even neighbours. She could never say no to anything and could not miss out on being anywhere where there was action. Though her lack of priorities came to eventually affect her class work, I still envied her ability to juggle everything without falling apart.
Like her, most of us do not know how to prioritise and when need be, walk away from the nonessentials stealing themselves into our lives. We are often trying to juggle career, family, personal pursuits, ministry and friends, all without trying to feel like we are letting down anyone or missing out on anything. Most of us have been bred to be the hands-on-the-wheels, trying to do everything, help everyone, achieve everything, super mum, super hero, super employee, a classic Martha Stewart.
Sometimes our lives get so wrapped up with nonessentials that are edging out what really matters. We let work steal from our family and personal growth time. We let our friends to edge out the time we could use studying or finishing up a project.
We all need to learn to say a firm NO at times. NO to all that derails us, to that which demoralises us, to that which does not build us up.
Other times we have to choose to walk away from stuff that steals the wind from our sails, preventing us from ever reaching our potential. Dr Dean Ornish once said, “Real power is measured not by how much you have but by how much you can walk away from.”
Can you walk away from your past whether good or bad? A bad past will haunt and undermine your efforts. A good past can keep you wrapped up in time. Move on.
You also have to put a stop to all negativity in your life. Negative people, environments, books, movies, media… they will zap all the optimism and energy from your life. Remember negativity is contagious.
Put a firm No to people who do not respect you. They get their sense of affirmation from trashing you and pushing you down. Life is always about them, them and them- you are just a sideshow in the drama of their lives. Life is about give and take.
Walk away from opportunities that take your life from you. You have a duty to live your life as best as you can, now. Avoid careers, jobs, tasks, even people who do not allow you to live your life in fullness and personal fulfilment or you will soon burnout.
Most important do not entertain fear in your life. It will be your greatest handicap to attaining your dreams.
It is not always holding on that makes us strong. Sometimes it is letting go. One widely circulated email, allegedly authored by bishop TD Jakes sums it all: “When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead. You’ve got to know when it’s dead. If it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to… let it go.
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains … let it go.
If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…
If someone has angered you…
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge…
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction…
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents…
If you have a bad attitude…
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better…
