Where liest the boundary between trying to be good and being righteous?
Such are the times when I really want to understand grace and mercy; that I can rise back, no matter how many times I slip, even fall. Do I want to be good? Yeah. First my conscience will stop killing me. Then I know that I can be a testimony. Thirdly, like Paul, I can tell people to follow me like I follow Christ.
Right now I feel I have eroded all I once believed in, that the light in me is slowly being sucked in by my passions. I wanna be the light on a hill, the salt; but I feel like my lamp is not just covered with a bowl and put under the table, I feel like it has been carried away to the dump heap- it no longer has the courage to shine from a dump heap. It is in the wrong place.
