North Pole

I came across a book about “Finding your north Pole.” It is by some SA author. But it reminded me of a feeling I often have, that I was born with this magnetic inclination, that no matter where I go, I will always find my way home- home in the sense of back to where my heart belongs.
I have drifted from myself and what really counts in my life so many times I lost count. God too lost count. But I always drift back home. Sometimes defeated, with my tail between my legs dogstyle, other times with a small look of embarassment on my face, other times tough-love style, like whether you want me or not I am coming back.
And everytime, I have this feeling of, I am so pathetic, Daddy it is amazing you still extend grace, still take me in. I think what I find so confounding-actually that is an understatement, it still never sinks into my cranium- is that God says he does not count my sin against me. For His own sake. If He did, it would be a continuous cause of heartache. So he forgives- and forgets. Everytime I run to him, He forgives- and somehow, forgets.
I love Casting Crown’s latest song:
Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west
cause I can’t bear to see the man I have been rising up in me again

I get that feeling often. How far really is that East from the West. How can God forgive me when I cannot even forgive myself?
Thanks to my North Pole- I guess it is His deposit in me- That always points me back home. Like a navigation system, it will always bring me back home.
The same allegory as that of a marrionette-His cords of love draw me back, no matter how far I am gone.