When Kenyans went to the ballot on 27th December last year, it was with a lot of hope that with their vote they could determine or in the least influence the direction of their lives- for the next five years. The queues started as early as four in the morning at some poll stations, and coiled on and on for miles on end, the voters oblivious of the fatigue, sun, chill or the rain. They voted in their leaders. But what followed there after has shattered the lives of so many and eroded the trust, love and good will that took so long to build.
As we stand, lives have been lost, thousands of people displaced, countless others have lost their homes and property. And there are losses that will be hard to quantify, and they could haunt us for a long time. It will be hard to etch out of our heads the images of razed churches and burnt bodies, the sound of gunshots through the night, the cries of women and children being raped, or the pangs of hunger as people sat under lock and key, not able to even dash to the local kiosk for a piece of bread.
Whether what we saw was as a result of a flawed election or the culmination of seeds of lawlessness and tribalism, a lot of Kenyans are still hurting. Many of us have managed to get back to business as usual yet so many other people do not know how in the world they will ever reconstruct their lives. They have become estranged from their family members and friends, they are in shock or angry at the political leadership, ECK or a certain tribe and many more are just paralysed by fear and uncertainty of what could happen next. They watch and wait, victims of circumstances they had little to do with. Some will choose to return violence with violence, others will ignore the betrayal and the pain or vent it out with name calling, looting and drinking, yet others will numb it with a thick crust of bitterness, mistrust and suspicion for the rest of their lives.
We cannot pretend nothing happened. Denying and repressing feelings will only block our peace and joy and hinder the healing process. We can try and forget it happened and pull ourselves together, but that also is not easy. For many people and maybe even for Kenyan political scene, we have gotten a permanent life marker- before and after the 2007 election. But the important thing is that we have to move on. In each of us is the capacity to cope with what has happened no matter how traumatic and to move on, start afresh, or at least make necessary changes. We cannot let fear, mistrust or hate rule the rest of our lives.
Stressing this is Dr Philomena Ndambuki, a trauma counsellor and head of the department of Educational Psychology at Kenyatta University. She points out that the psychological impact of the post election skirmishes is so great on people because they view it as a manmade disaster that could have been avoided, unlike a natural disaster. As a response, they are displaying unnatural behaviour.
The Trauma
Trauma results when events occur that completely overwhelm one’s ability to cope or integrate the ideas and emotions involved with that experience. Such experiences shake the foundations of our beliefs about safety, and shatter our assumptions of trust, overwhelming us.
“Trauma is what goes beyond your ability to process information. When you are traumatised you can do anything. You are overwhelmed. Your reaction can be the most natural response but to other people it is not normal,” says Ndambuki.
Such reactions are usually unusual and disturbing yet are very normal responses to abnormal events.
For people to move on Dr Ndambuki stresses that the trauma has to be dealt with first. “What we are seeing now is the result of internalised stress. It is shown by what people display socially, emotionally, psychologically, even morally. Right now people are very emotionally upset, cognitively confused, some are even asking god a few questions like why did it have to happen.”
Debriefing
In dealing with such a situation, she suggests that the first step should be debriefing of the affected people.
“People have accumulated a lot of stress. It is like they are ballooned up with anger, fury, hatred, annoyance and confusion. Debriefing will help in assuaging and diffusing this anger.”
Debriefing should involve sitting down with people who have experienced the traumatic events of the last few days and letting them explain their experiences, thoughts and feelings concerning what happened. The purpose is to reduce any possibility of psychological harm by informing people about their experience or allowing them to talk about it.
People are encouraged to express what happened, what they thought about it and their feelings were. Victims should know that it is normal to feel angry, helpless, fearful, confused or frustrated, sometimes for a long time.
She warns against repressing any of the feelings and trying to act normal before people deal with the trauma.
“In a situation such as we have now, people are likely to repress what happened. Practically you seem to be going on though you have not. It is very hard to forget unless they process the trauma.
Trauma should not be allowed to reside in the mind. It will interfere with the process of growth and development.”
She warns of the possibility of repressed feelings flaring up in the future.
“Do not swallow the fear and anger, or it will come out in doses in the future, every time something happens to trigger the memory. Express it. See a pastor, get a friend from that tribe that you are so aggrieved by and tell them what you feel. When people swallow anger and fear, it can lead to PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
PTSD is an anxiety disorder that can occur after a traumatic event. Strong emotions caused by the event create changes in the brain that may result in PTSD.
Allow others to help you
Most of us with time can get through trauma without the need for professional counselling. Peer and group counselling and the help of friends, family and church leaders should play an important part in being able to deal with traumatic experiences. Accept the support of people around you, whether they are the people you expected to help you or not.
Need to understand the problem
Another key step towards healing and wholeness is understanding what led to problem.
“Kenyans should understand that whatever happened is situational. It has nothing to do with future years. It is a political issue. We do not know how long the hatred will continue but there should be no one time when one tribe cannot be able to get along with another. Not every Luo or Kikuyu is bad. We have lived together for a long time and we know these people as our neighbours, friends and relatives,” says Ndambuki.
And very adequately pointing that out is Rev Tony Kiama of International Christian Centre. “You are fighting people who do not speak your language yet your children cannot also speak your mother tongue,” he says.
We could argue that the presidential poll result is responsible for the loss of lives, property and tribal animosity but Ndambuki poses this question:
“People need to be quick to process what happened and judge for themselves what happened. Who carried the assignment? Is it Kibaki or Raila who carried the panga? The people who did that shocked the offended and the offender.”
Instead she calls for sympathy and social education and if need be legislation to suffocate any weeds of tribalism.
“We need to be sympathetic of the people who carried out these acts. They are people who have not been socialised to value ethics, life and property. A socialised person respects culture, neighbourhood, God and age. A boy raping a woman older than him has nothing to do with elections.”
Avoid generalisation of behaviour
It is quite easy to blame one group of people for what has happened. But we should by all means avoid generalising behaviour depending on what one group has done.
“It is unrealistic to punish someone for someone else’s mistake. A Luo in Nairobi should not suffer for the mistake of a Luo in Kisumu. We need to discriminate- deal with specific issues,” says Ndambuki.
Let us Unify
Calls have come from all over on the need to think and act as one people. If nothing else, the elections have taught us what an ill tribalism is to our country.
“From now on churches, leaders, peacemakers, must forever talk about unity until trust is restored. If necessary, we should introduce it in schools. The vocabulary of “what tribe are you” should never again be heard in our country,” says Ndambuki.
Find the lessons
We can find so many lessons from what has happened. Maybe that we should stock enough food quantities in the house, or that we should cement friendships with our neighbours. But we should learn from what we have seen as individuals and as a country. Maybe the greatest lesson is how frail as a nation we can be.
Avoid bitterness
“In then long run, let us work on forgiving,” Ndambuki’s calls out.
It is only when we stop focussing on what has gone wrong and what is not working and instead focus on the gifts and blessings we still have that we can truly be grateful. Bitterness will poison our souls and harden us to the beauty and joy of life. When we focus on the positive we get the strength and perspective to move forward.
“I cannot guarantee that politicians will not play the ethnic card again five years from now. But if you mothers sell forgiveness to your children, we will have a love filled community twenty years from now,” says Rev Tony.
Pray
Finally all of us can pray. Even the most unreligious of us can get strength through prayer. Not only will genuine prayer get answered but the action itself is able to help us step aside and release our worries, hate and fear to God and to place the future into His hands. In that we find healing for our souls, hope and faith.
